Monday 24 October 2016

Responding to feedback

It was an original Thursday morning in my soft bed, I felt something dripping on my face as I woke up. My cat was dribbling all over my face. I was still very sleepy and  I could barely walk, but I headed out to the lounge only to hear my brother was on the phone chatting to Quaide. He always has the phone on speaker.  I heard Quade ask if he could stay at ours. I felt a tingling feeling, it felt super weird.  
I watched as Chakai walked into Mum and Dad's room to ask the question. “Can Quaide stay the night?”
Mum was still very sleepy but said. “Ok, but not tonight.”
I thought to myself, I don't want to put up with them talking all night. I'm going to stay at Nana’s or I'll get that tingly feeling again.

Saturday afternoon my family and I went to the supermarket to get food for my tea and my family's tea. I picked a quiche, a bacon one, my family got pies and one pie for me. This was all going with me to Nana’s.

It was a quick trip to Nana’s. We unpacked all my stuff while Dad was setting up Nana's printer. All of a sudden a storm started they couldn't go home yet so they went to bad Annas. I decided that I will go on the computer to play roblox. But the storm got big so I had to get off the computer only to watch T.V until the storm went down.

All of a sudden it was 7 o'clock. Nana had made my tea. We ate tea and watch two movies. We watch my movie, Iparty and we watched Starstruck.  Later on in the evening I went to sleep but not so easily as  it was still stormy. My family got home and it was the cat helped me get to sleep. I woke early the next day.


It was 6 o’clock when I woke up and a very cold morning,  I turned on the heater and turned on the computer while I waited for my Nana to wake up. About an hour later she woke up and made me breakfast, corn flakes and coco pops. Not to long after that I heard a knock on the front door. My baby cousin and Aunty had arrived.


Later in the day Nana said we are going to drop them off, then we're going to yours. After dropping them off  we arrived at my house. The boys were there and they were on the computer Nana said “ Brooklyn didn't go on the computer today.”
Mum told the boys to get off and let me have a turn. They did! The boys had been inside forever so they had to go outside. Mum came back inside and gave me ten cookies and two juice boxes. Then it was time for tea. I noticed Quaide was still here. I asked Mum.” Why is Quaide still here?”
Mum said. “Because he wants to.”
I answered “But I don't want to put up with them talking all night.”
Mum said “Just wait.” So I did but I was puzzled.
After tea Mum and Dad put blankets on the couch, I was really puzzed now. Mum told me that I was sleeping on the couch.
Later on I watched T.V and the boys came out and said “Why are you out here?”
I responded “ Mum said I could”.
I asked “Why are you out here?” As I raised my eyebrows they said “Oh uh.” I saw them looking at their tablets. Before they could say anything else.
I said “ Wait are you get your tablets?” They said “Noooo…” with a smirk on their faces.
I said. “Go to bed.” They went to bed and I quickly hid their tablets. Then about 10 minutes later they came out and tried to find their tablets but I caught them to see a worried look come over their faces.  
I was wondering what they were doing with the tablets. I asked “Why do you want to your tablets?”
They said. “Because we want to join worlds on minecraft.”
I said. “You can't.” In quite a mean  voice. They raced back to their room and I got some sleep.

The following morning I woke up really early and had breakfast. Dad and I were going to the pool today. I picked out my togs and put them on and a stripy top and then some overalls. I did my hair, packed my bag and then waited in bed for awhile before I made Mum and Dad a coffee, two eggs each, some toast and some cookies. I just made the boys some cereal and went outside and tidied up.

When Mum and dad woke up they saw the breakfast I made them, they ate it and gave me a hug.

Then Dad said. “Let's go.”
I said. “Ok”.
We got in the car and drove off while the boys were still asleep. On the way we stopped at Do Duck In bakery. We bought a gingerbread man, pie, drink and some lollies and went to Dixon Park for awhile.  I had time to go on the merry-go-round and the swing before we went to the pool and had a swim. I dived off the diving board and did a flip before we went to buy fish and chips. We got chips, fish and hot dogs. After eating we went for a fun walk. Then we went to McDonald's.
Finally it was time to go. When we arrived back home we packed our stuff and headed to Nelson for next holiday. We went to a mall and bought heaps of things- like everything.

I wish it could happen in every holiday. This was the best holiday ever.

Tuesday 18 October 2016

Boat Ride

Friday 14 October 2016

Dice In The Corner

The Perfect Days

I am learning to make my writing more interesting for the reader. I know I will be able to do this when I add more detail, use interesting words and include what I can see, hear, smell and feel. I started with my brainstorm.





It was an original Thursday morning in my soft bed, I felt something dripping on my face as I woke up. My cat was dribbling all over my face.
I could barely walk, I was still very sleepy but I headed out to the lounge,  to hear my brother was on the phone chatting to Quaide. He always has the phone on speaker.  I heard Quade ask if he could stay at ours. I felt a tingling feeling, it felt super weird.  
I watched as Chakai went into Mum and Dad's room and asked “Can Quaide stay the night on Saturday?”
Mum said. “Ok.”
I thought to myself, I don't want to put up with them talking all night, I'm going to stay at Nanas or I'll get that tingly feeling again.


Saturday afternoon my family and I went to the supermarket to get food for my tea and my family's tea. I picked a quiche, a bacon one, my family got pies and one pie for me. This was all going with me to Nana’s.


It was a quick trip to Nana’s. We unpacked all my stuff while Dad was setting up Nana's printer. As soon as they left I went on the computer to played roblox.


First I played one round of murder mystery and I won the round and got bored so I played meep city. I decorated my house then I left the game and played robloxians and it was fun.  I created characters and added their personalities for my brother and a dad. I was the only girl in the house and my brother was so annoying that I ended up leaving the game because it ended up boring.
It was 7 o'clock when I got off the computer. Nana had made my tea. We ate and we watch two movies. We watch my movie, iparty and we watched starstruck.  Later on in the evening I went to sleep with the cat. I woke early the next day.


It was 6 o’clock when I woke up and a very cold morning. I turned on the computer  while I waited for my Nana to wake up. About an hour later she woke up and made me breakfast, cornflakes and coco pops. Not to long after that I heard a knock on the front door. My baby cousin and Aunty had arrived.


Later in the day Nana said we are going to drop them off, then we're going to yours. After dropping them off  we arrived at my house. The boys were there and they were on the computer Nana said “ Brooklyn didn't go on the computer today.”
Mum told the boys to get off and let me have a turn. They did. The boys had been inside forever so they had to go outside. Mum came back inside and gave me ten cookies and two juice boxes. Then it was time for tea. I noticed Quaide was still here. I asked Mum.” Why is Quaide still here?” Mum said. “Because he wants to.”
I answered “But I don't want to put up with them talking all night.”
Mum said “Just wait.” So I did but I was puzzled.
After tea Mum and Dad put blankets on the couch, I was really puzzed now. Mum told me that I was sleeping on the couch.
Later I watched T.V and the boys came out and I quickly turned off the T.V and hid.


The following morning I woke up really early and had breakfast. Dad and I were going to the pool today. I picked out my togs and put them on, put a stripy top on and then some overalls. I did my hair, packed my bag and then waited in bed for awhile before I made Mum and Dad a coffee, two eggs each, some toast and some cookies that I made. I just made the boys some cereal and then I went outside and tidied up.
When Mum and dad woke up they saw the breakfast I made them, ate it and gave me a hug.


Later on, Dad said. “Let's go.”
I said. “Ok”.
We got in the car and drove off while the boys were still asleep. On the way we stopped at Do Duck In bakery. We bought a gingerbread man, pie, drink and some lollies. Then we went to Dixon Park for awhile.  I had time to go on the merry-go-round and the swing. Then we went to the pool and had a swim. I dived off the diving board and did a flip before  we went to buy fish and chips. We got chips, fish and hot dogs. Then eating we went for a fun walk.

It was fun, the perfect days. I wish they could happen again.